Are you Listening to Your Own Inner Wisdom? Here are 7 Questions to help you!

How are you going to know what's most important to you unless you make time to listen to yourself?

As coaches, we spend a lot of time listening to others. We focus all our attention - some call it "Level 3 Listening" - observing body language if we're in person, listening for tone, 'energy', what is NOT being said as well as listening to the actual words and what may lay underneath. Not only that but we listen to the silences too - is this a thoughtful, fearful or embarrassed silence? And while doing all this we listen to our intuition too - we dance in the moment and follow our instincts as to what and when to ask the next coaching question, and when to let the silence deepen.

So much attention and focus on someone else. And it works!

But what about us? When did you last pay that much attention to YOU? When did you last make the space to listen to your 'self'? Have you ever applied "Level 3 Listening" to you?

Because whether you like it or not, you're on a journey - a heroic journey through the ups and downs of life. Of growing and becoming your true self. This is as true for you as it is for your clients (whether you're aware of it or not!).

Breakthroughs come when we have the time and space to see the wood from the trees, in short - when we have time for solitude and personal reflection. And not just personal or spiritual breakthroughs, but business breakthroughs too.

You have great wisdom inside you. I'm sure you're sharing it with your clients, but are YOU listening to yourself? If we teach what we most need to learn, where do you need to pay attention to your own wisdom?

A few years ago I created regular reflection time where I would journal and ask myself questions. In that time, I paid attention to myself and truly listened. I thought about how I'd behaved with others, about my posture and how my body felt, I thought on what I'd been saying and asking my clients, what I might have wanted to say, but didn't. I paid attention to what I asked and said to my clients. Over time I noticed that often I was saying to others what I most needed to hear. I started to pay attention to my own wisdom - and it has changed my life. I trust myself more, have had lots of great ideas - and this has helped me make decisions, prioritise and get clear on what to say yes to and what to say no to - in order to succeed...

Here are 7 "Deep Inner Listening" Questions to Ask Yourself:

  1. Recently, what pearls of wisdom, advice and suggestions have you found yourself sharing with others?
  2. What questions do you regularly ask others? (and ask yourself those very questions!)
  3. What do you most need to learn from yourself?
  4. What has been the 'tone' or energy of your own life recently?
  5. What are you NOT saying that needs to be acknowledged?
  6. What lies beneath your words? (If you were to pay attention to the words and phrases you use on a day to day basis, what kind of words are you using - are they positive, hopeful, enthusiastic or are they disparaging, negative, assuming the worst or something else?)
  7. What lies beneath your silences? (Are your silences thoughtful, afraid, embarrassed, angry or something else?)And a bonus question to wrap-up with:
  8. What do you MOST need to hear right now?

So, make some quiet time to listen to yourself! Ask yourself the very questions you might ask your clients - and I guarantee you'll learn something incredibly valuable by listening to yourself - and your own wisdom.

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Emma-Louise Elsey Headshot

Contributing Author:

Emma-Louise Elsey has been coaching since 2003 and is the Founder of The Coaching Tools Company and Fierce She's passionate about coaching and personal development. Originally a project and relationship manager for Fortune 500 companies she combined her love of coaching, creativity and systems to create over 100 brandable coaching tools, forms and exercises including 30+ completely free coaching tools. She now serves coaches and the coaching world through her exclusive newsletter for coaches, Coaches Helping Coaches Facebook Group and many other great tools for coaches, plus resources and ideas for your coaching toolbox. The Coaching Tools Company is an official ICF Business Solutions Partner.

Learn more about Emma-Louise & see all their articles here >>

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