How to Stop Secretly Procrastinating in 5 Easy Steps!

Procrastination is not the "black or white" issue I had previously thought. We're not either a "procrastinator" or a "doer"—we can be both, because procrastination is situational...

Are you a secret procrastinator like I was?

A few years ago I discovered (after 10 years of personal development and coaching) that I was a secret procrastinator. I say secret because I had no idea I regularly procrastinated.

I had always considered myself a "doer": someone who can be relied upon to always do what they say they will. In the previous 10 years alone I had moved country, changed careers, built a successful business from scratch, moved again to a small island, built a cottage with my hubbie, started a B&B business and bought and revamped a tourism website. I do stuff. So, facing the fact that sometimes I'm a terrible procrastinator was hard!

What did my procrastination look like?

Well, I'm great at doing things with deadlines—things that HAVE to be done. But as soon as things get complicated, difficult or scary I stick my head in the sand and try not to think about it. In fact I regularly procrastinate over tasks and answering emails that require any extra effort or thought. I procrastinated over booking my root canal (OK, so many of us might procrastinate over that!) and it took me 6 months to create this reader survey.

The pain of my procrastination

But what woke me up to my procrastination was an action I gave myself over 2 years ago: to contact the ICF (International Coaching Federation) about becoming an ICF Business Solutions Partner. And then when an email from the ICF went out to over 20,000 coaches listing all the business partners, I realised that could have been me if only I had got my act together—a great business opportunity missed because of my procrastination.

Procrastination is like a credit card; it's lots of fun until you get the bill. Christopher Parker

So, after this missed opportunity and my procrastinatory(!) revelation I made a point of noticing when I was procrastinating—and why. I could easily blame this on ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), but as I considered the things I procrastinate over—I realised the reason for my procrastination is always fear of some sort.

We coaches already know this...

We all know this from our coaching: you can't deal with something you're not willing to acknowledge. When we're conscious of our fears we can do something about it, but when we avoid looking at our fears, then those fears control us.

So I began facing my procrastination fears and acknowledging them, then making a conscious decision around what the first step is and when to take action. And what I learned is that once I've admitted my fears, AND when I gave myself permission to do it later, AND when I set a deadline, I got it done!

And that's what I did with the ICF Business Solutions Partnership!

After realising the cost of my procrastination, the first step I had been avoiding was simply making a call to speak to someone at the ICF. So I set myself a deadline of the next day to face my fear. Thinking about what I was missing out on helped me pick up the the phone. And after the phone-call, thinking about what I was missing out on helped me with the next step of filling out the application forms.

The end of this story is that The Coaching Tools Company.com became an Official Business Solutions Partner 2 years after I first set myself the action!

So, here are 5 Easy Steps To Successful Procrastination!

These steps will help both you and your clients! And this process assumes the action you're procrastinated over is something you WANT or NEED to do. But if you're not sure, you could use one of these 5 quick tests to check here >>

1. ADMIT YOUR FEARS—however 'silly' or 'irrational'
   • List all the sensible, rational reasons you may be avoiding this action.
   • List all the silly or irrational reasons. Just keep your pen moving after writing out the rational reasons and put down whatever pops into your mind. Ask yourself, "What am I SECRETLY afraid of or avoiding here?"
2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE COST (or potential cost) of your procrastination
   • What is the "pain" of your procrastination?
   • What have you missed out on (quantify it if you can)?
3. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to do it later
   • Before moving forwards, simply give yourself permission NOT to do it until you're ready.
4. CHOOSE A CLEAR & DO-ABLE FIRST STEP
   • What is the smallest or very first step that will get you started and help you gain momentum?
5. COMMIT TO YOURSELF!
   • WHEN will you do it? Now pick a date and time and PUT IT IN YOUR DIARY!
   • A great tip is to make it FIRST thing eg. when you get to work, straight after lunch or when you get home—before you get distracted.

To give yourself an extra nudge, ask yourself:

1. What do I GET by completing this action? (what are the positive outcomes)
2. How could things get WORSE if I don't complete this action? (like a filling turning into a root canal!)
3. Or finally, what will I MISS OUT ON if I don't complete this action?

Notice which of these responses motivates you the most. Then picture this when you need that extra motivation to get over your fears or resistance and get it done.

Oh—and there's a bonus to ending procrastination!

Facing your procrastination and doing the difficult stuff is good for your self-esteem. We always feel better about ourselves after we've faced our fears!

Wrap-up

Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage. Alyce Cornyn-Selby

There is nothing wrong with procrastinating as long as it's a conscious decision. So stop unconsciously procrastinating and move to CONSCIOUS procrastination!

This means committing to yourself: Say, "I won't do it now, but I WILL do it this evening/tomorrow/next week" and then do it later. Just don't wait too long—some opportunities once missed are gone forever...

If you liked this article on procrastination with tips, you may also like:

• 12 Easy Ideas to Get More Done AND Have Fun Too!
• Achieve More: Why You Need Stillness to be Productive!
• Coaching Tools 101: The 9 Coaching Exercises and Templates I Would Not Be Without

Contributing Author:

Emma-Louise Elsey is passionate about kindness, coaching and personal development and has been coaching since 2003. She's the Founder and Former CEO of The Coaching Tools Company, and Founder of Fierce Kindness. Originally a project and relationship manager for Fortune 500 companies she loves to create coaching tools and exercises, including lots of free coaching tools for you here at The Coaching Tools Company. Through Fierce Kindness she helps people create a life they love, make a difference and learn to be kind to themselves.

She'd love you to sign-up for the Fierce Kindness Newsletter and grab a free How to Be Kind to Yourself Workbook. Or connect personally on Linkedin, Facebook or Instagram.

Learn more about Emma-Louise & see all their articles here >>