What Richard Bandler & Marilyn Monroe Understood Can Make You a Better Coach | By Judy Frabotta July 24, 2015 Reading Time: 2 min 30 sec Share1Tweet3Share16Pin328348 SharesBIG CONGRATULATIONS to Judy Frabotta - our Writing Contest Winner! This is the article that you and your fellow coaches voted for: Read her inspiring article below: "Only parts of us will ever touch only parts of others." Marilyn Monroe In the early days of NLP, Richard Bandler had a travelling road show of sorts. His free-style workshops were packed with all kinds of people - car salesmen, CIA operatives, cult deprogrammers, and the odd therapist, to name just a few of the people I encountered. The curriculum, geared to people already familiar with the basics, tended to be whatever was on Richard's mind - whatever puzzle he was trying to work out at the time. The week I attended, what Richard was working on was Parts. Although much of what I learned about NLP has dropped into unconscious memory, the language and practice of Parts work has remained front and center. "I really want to stop procrastinating, but Part of me just can't get into the game." "Part of me really likes him, but Part of me is scared." "Part of me wants to go to medical school, but another Part wants to write folk music." The language of Parts belongs to our ordinary understanding of ourselves. Even the most casual self-examination reveals dozens of sub-personalities inside, some of whom may disagree quite vehemently with each other about who we are and what we are capable of. Some of our Parts are loud and dominant - others are fully formed but quiet and waiting to be engaged. Some Parts are disturbing and some are good at hiding. Here's how I use Parts with clients: Self-awareness. Parts work is a great tool for understanding and accepting internal contradictions. If a client has already told you that he is, say, an extrovert, he is now free to tell you that Part of him has a strong need for alone time. We are never just one thing. Goal setting. Some clients flounder among conflicting goals and priorities. Helping them identify and name the Parts in conflict can spur a useful internal dialogue while acknowledging all aspects of the self. Goals formed with awareness of internal conflicts are less likely to be sabotaged by renegade Parts. Resource states. One of my clients wanted to get more comfortable giving talks. A self-described introvert, he expressed resistance to being exposed. On the other hand, he had a powerful message and an amazing personal story to back it up. He was articulate and warm. Inside, a great speaker was waiting to be unleashed. As he prepared his next presentation, I asked him to imagine that he was writing a script for an character with a great public speaking persona. What would that character say? How would he deliver it? He enjoyed the creative exercise of creating a fictional character. When the time came to give the talk, he stepped fully into the role he had created. He smiled as he watched his closest colleague's jaw hit the floor. At that moment, he realized he was having fun. A Part was born. Contributing Author: After a long and varied career as a management consultant, Judy Frabotta is focusing her energy on coaching and mentoring entrepreneurs, executives, people in career transition, and people with big dreams. She can be reached through LinkedIn or email her at email@example.com. If you like this article about NLP and parts, you may also like: The Perfect Coffee Break Read! (20 awesome snippets of wisdom from your fellow coaches - including Judy) 15 Ways to Turn I Don't Know into an Aha Moment! Why "Black or White" Thinking May be Keeping Keep Your Clients Stuck! Categories: Clarifying, Coaching, Coaching Inspiration, Coaching Tips, Gremlins & Inner Critics, NLP Related, Raising Awareness Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.