Stop Feeling Pressured To Create Aha Moments For Your Clients! | By Ruby McGuire

With 3 Ways to Make it Easier!

What is your definition of an "Aha Moment"? I know I want to be the coach that gives my clients clarity - to me this is what "Aha moments" are about.

But when you hear the words 'aha moments', as in creating them for your clients, do they fill you with happiness or fear?

I have worked with a number of clients that want to be the coaches that create lots of "aha moments" for their clients. It can become a stress point, and turn into something way bigger than it needs to be.

Pressure on.

What I now know, with experience, is that it's not about 'creating' aha moments but about not being scared to question and gently challenge your clients - on their assumptions and on what they're telling themselves.

Let me share 3 things you can do to make it easier.

1. Create a Good Rapport with your Clients

It's essential that your client trusts you. That way when you do ask challenging questions they're going to take them in the spirit they're given, knowing that you're creating that safe space for them in order to help them grow. Your clients will understand that it's not judgement, but a genuine place of wanting them to be the best they can be.

If you haven't created that rapport it's not so easy to challenge them, without it being taken as a judgement or affront.

2. Listen, Be brave and Ask Challenging Questions (it's okay to use your intuition too)

It can feel scary asking challenging questions, but as long as you're asking with the intention of moving your client forward then it's absolutely the right thing to do.

If you're not challenging your clients then you could just be called a friend instead of a coach. Your job is to unlock the answers within your client. Listening to your clients will enable you to ask the right questions. Really listen. Listen to how they are talking about themselves and their situation. Listen to what's not being said as much as what is being said. That way you can then challenge their assumptions.

This past month, for example, I had a client coaching call all about visibility strategy, yet she walked away with the "Aha!" of realising she's super creative. I didn't do anything to 'create' that aha moment for her, it was because I challenged her comment around not being creative. As coaches, we often see things in our clients that they don't see - it's our job to gently challenge and bring to their awareness what they might not notice themselves.

Through listening and questioning you can gently challenge your client to notice what they're saying, and to acknowledge that part of them.

Here are a few questions you can ask to challenge your clients' limiting beliefs:

  • When did you decide that you're not … (talented, creative, tech savvy)?
  • What's the benefit to you of holding onto that assumption that you're not (limiting belief)
  • I'd like to gently challenge you. You just said that you're not (limiting belief). I've noticed… (examples of where you have seen something that contradicts the limiting belief)
  • When it comes to not being (limiting belief), what choices are you making that are enabling that belief?
  • Is that true? What evidence do you have to back that theory up? (Be gentle as you say this, as it could come across as quite harsh if said in the wrong tone!)

And don't be afraid to use your intuition. If you're picking up on something, then ask them if you can share something that's popped into your head. Sometimes you'll be right, sometimes you won't. Often though, your courage to share your intuition can take your client through a thinking process that might not have happened if you hadn't been brave enough.

3. Keep Your Mouth Shut!

It's one thing to question, and another to know when to stop talking. While coaching is about asking powerful questions, often aha moments occur when you both sit in silence.

This can feel uncomfortable, but it can also be where the magic happens. Your client might be lost in thought and on the verge of a big breakthrough. While they're quietly thinking you're wracking your brain for the next 'clever' question and you interrupt them, only for them to lose that beautiful eureka moment. Knowing when to shut up is a skill in itself!

Bonus Tip

If you want to get really good at creating aha moments, then start to review your work. Pay attention. When you get an aha moment with a client, note down what triggered that aha. What were you doing at the time? How well did you know the client? Was it a tool you used, something you said, silence?

Wrap-up

In order to create aha moments there are 3 key things you need:

  • A good rapport with your clients
  • Courage to ask challenging questions
  • To keep your mouth shut!

So that's three ways to create the space for more "Aha!" moments with your clients. I'd love to learn what your tips would be - why not share yours in the comments below?

Ruby McGuireContributing Author: Ruby McGuire, Visibility Diva, aka Queen of Connection is a mum, wife, cappuccino lover and introvert. She helps unseen solopreneurs step up and shine so they can make money doing what they love. She's an Accredited Senior Coach, a Co-Author of Awaken Your True Potential, a Trainer, NLP and EFT Practitioner, writes for International Coaching News and heads up Business Support for IIC&M's Invenio Magazine. If you liked this article you might like her podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. Find Ruby at her pretty online home www.rubymcguire.com or on Facebook. Failing that she may be satisfying her pinning obsession on Pinterest!

If you want to rock your visibility and have a life, check out her monthly programme, Rock Your Visibility (with a cherry on top) where she helps you create business growth through being visible.

 

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