For Real Happiness: Focus on Your Feelings, NOT Goals!

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Contrary what we’ve been told, achieving our goals does NOT give us lasting happiness. Working towards and achieving goals is the PURSUIT of happiness. Because eventually the euphoria wears off and then we’re back where we were before. What will give you LASTING happiness is learning to deal confidently with difficult situations, feelings and emotions…

That’s not to say we shouldn’t have goals. Like you, I’m a coach – I LOVE goals! But what’s absolutely critical to our LASTING happiness is not goals, but how we deal with life’s inevitable problems.

Try this: Imagine for a moment that you are Read More…

Coaches Q&A - What Do I Do With a Client Who is Fixated on Why?

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Coach’s Question:

Hi Emma-Louise, I have a client who is fixated on “Why?”. They get really trapped in one line of thinking and it’s stopping them from moving forwards. I’m wondering if you have a relevant tool that you’ve created that would help them work through it?

They can be really focused which is great, but focusing on this “Why?” is hurting them and keeping them stuck. If you have anything that they can work on, that would be great.

Emma-Louise’s Response:

Hey – great to hear from you! So, this is a toughie. It’s so easy to get caught Read More…

Should Coaches (and Therapists) Who Have Depression and Anxiety Be Coaching Others?

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This is a follow-up to the very personal article where I outed myself for having chronic anxiety (still active but reduced), depression (now past thankfully) and ADD (unsurprisingly still very active!).

I thought I would write this follow-up article because one very brave soul left a comment saying among other things, “If someone struggles with severe depression and anxiety, they should not be coaching.” The comment was kindly put-together and I believe that many people feel the same way, so here is my follow-up post, I hope you read it with an open mind.

And before we start Read More…

De-Stress Series: A Simple 4 Step Process to Help Your Clients Cope With Stressful Feelings

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Sometimes our clients come to a session feeling stressed, overwhelmed, guilty, pressured or anxious. It’s hard to coach people when they’re caught up in these thoughts and feelings, so it can be helpful for us to have a way to help calm them down.

This technique may seem overly simple – but it’s often the simplest techniques that work the best…

NOTE: If you have corporate or executive clients this technique is great. You may want to tone down the touchy-feely language (eg. stick to the first 3 affirmations in step 3). AND you may also find this is Read More…

9 Real-Life Examples of Eustress (Good Stress) Your Clients May Need MORE of!

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Usually when we use the word ‘stress’ we’re referring to so-called ‘bad’ stress or DIStress. But did you know there is a name for good stress? Eustress, pronounced YOU-stress, is a term coined by endocrinologist Hans Selye who studied the impact of stress on the mind and body. Eu comes from the Greek meaning well or good and suggests that there is indeed such a thing as healthy stress.

So, What Is Eustress and Why is it Important?

Well, without eustress we are not equipped to deal with excitement and/or challenge in our lives.

It’s eustress that fuels our successes Read More…

15 Ways to Turn I Don't Know into an Aha Moment!

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Often when our clients say “I don’t know”, they really do know – they’re just unwilling to acknowledge or face the answer. If it was was easy to say aloud they would have done so. There can be many reasons for the “I don’t know”, but if we trust our instincts and explore gently – we may just be rewarded with an Aha moment!

There are any number of reasons for that, “I don’t know” – but most of them are probably a fear of the consequences of stating that answer aloud. Maybe it means they will need to acknowledge Read More…

Use Affirmative Writing To Get Clients Unstuck And Connected To Their Goals | by Guest Author Lynda Monk

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Whether you’re a coach, counselor, therapist or social worker, affirmative writing is a great exercise to offer your clients who are making changes and attempting to bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be. And it’s also a great journaling exercise for your own self-care and visioning.

Affirmative writing is where we write to bridge the gap between our current reality and our desired outcome, whether it’s events, goals, feelings, situations or something else. We write as if these things are already so – including our feeling state. Tip: Feelings are the magnet when it Read More…

Helping Your Client Work Through Difficult Feelings and Emotions - a 3 Step Model

We live in a society that believes that facts, science and rationality will solve all our problems, but we ALL live with minds that are ruled by feelings and emotions. How many times have you watched a client, friend or loved one do something that’s clearly going to cause them difficulty later on?

Whatever kind of coaching you do – even business, career and executive coaching – it’s feelings that get in the way. And the more hidden the feelings and emotions are – the more likely they are to trip our clients up. So if you have a stuck Read More…

Coaching Questions 101: 5 Ways to Identify and Work through Your Clients' Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are often so much a part of us that we don’t even realise they’re there. In fact, asking a client what their limiting beliefs are could be likened to the metaphor of asking a fish for a glass of water: It’s so much a part of them that they don’t see it.

When our clients are stuck, when they have a goal and are not making progress or when the client is keen, knows what the next step is but avoids or won’t commit to it – it’s often a limiting belief at work. So this is the Read More…

Coaching Tools 101 - The GROW Model as the ULTIMATE Coaching Tool, Questions and Why it Always Works!

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There are many, many different coaching models out there but I still haven’t found anything that beats the GROW model for simplicity, effectiveness and results. If you embrace the GROW model – your clients will love you and you’ll never lose track in a coaching session again.

So, you probably use the GROW model (or T-GROW) without even realizing it:

T – Topic (Session Topic) G – Goal (Session Goal) R – Reality (Where they are and what’s going on for them) O – Options (Ideas and brainstorming – what they COULD do to move forwards) W – Read More…