Stop Waiting For Permission. Give Yourself The Green Light You Need! | By Ben Dooley

Green Traffic light against blue sky

Ben Dooley is an all round kind, fun, enthusiastic person AND an expert coach and mentor. Needless to say I am a big fan. This article from Ben is about giving yourself permission. It's a great conversation to have with your clients to help them TAKE that leap. Or maybe it's YOU that needs permission to go for it? Here's what Ben has to say:

It seems that most of us already have large and unwieldy to do lists—a clear idea of the tasks that we need to accomplish, the things we want to take on, the goals we desire to see through and even knowing how we should act, speak, or show up.

And yet many times we don't follow through.

Sure, there's fear involved (gremlins, saboteurs and what have you). There's the mental argument of "I have to get this done, or else _____". And that impending consequence is what derails us—and we're back to fear.

And we can look at the flip side, encouraging ourselves with key words like, "I choose to accomplish this, because/in order to _____". We can connect the action to our Values, Purpose, and Vision which can fill us with motivation and enthusiasm and empowerment.

But even then sometimes we still remain motionless...

Could it be that we're needing permission?

Think back to when we were growing up.  There was always someone "in charge". Whatever we wanted to do, we had to ask first: "Mom, can I go outside and play?", "Dad, is it all right if I stay after school and try out for the team?"

Most often they said "Yes", and usually with some sort of stipulation or boundary. (Yeah, sometimes they said "No" too. Bummer.)

But now that we're all grown up we don't have anyone to really check in with.

Sure there are spouses, significant others and roommates, but that's about partnership, courtesy and respect.

This is about getting the "green light" to go ahead, step out of the box and do what needs to be done.

And there is no one out there nowadays who can give us the permission we're needing...

"Yeah," I can already hear you saying. "Well, if you're so smart, then what about ourselves? Can't we give ourselves permission?"

You are so on the mark.

We can ask ourselves. In fact, that's the only source we can—and should—turn to.

So go ahead. Give yourself permission.

Coach fiercely, take a risk in promotion and marketing, reveal your vulnerability in a relationship, ask a client for money—whatever it is you know you need or want to do. You have everything all clear and lined up and ready.

All you really need is your own "permission" to go ahead and do it... will you just go and do it?

Final thought from Emma-Louise: Why not have some fun with the idea of actual permission slips. For yourself, your clients—or even friends and loved ones. When you see someone holding themselves back, write them (or even better get them to write themselves) an actual permission slip...

If you liked this article about giving yourself permission, you may also like:

Contributing Author:

Ben Dooley, MCC. YOUR coaching confidence and success made easy and fun. "I BElieve that you are an amazing, powerful, and impacting coach! I want to help you connect to that coach and unleash your coaching power and confidence to create your coaching success!" Find out more about Ben—awesome mentor coach and so much more—at

Learn more about Ben & see all their articles here >>

Image of Green traffic light against blue sky by LogicBomb via Shutterstock


    • mturcott

      Thank you, Brooklyn! Handing out permission slips sounds like a lot of fun - I'd love to try it!
      Warmly, Mary


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.