Boost Your Coaching Confidence With These 3 Easy Tools | By Jenn Danielson

Over the past few weeks, I've spoken to several coaches who were lacking confidence. They knew - logically - that they were good coaches, but they weren't sure they were doing a "good" job as a coach and were questioning their connections to themselves, to coaching and to their clients. These coaches had received great training and feedback, as well as tangible, positive coaching outcomes. They were externally validated, yet missing a significant internal component: Confidence.

How we show up is a critical part of the coaching experience for your clients. We are our best coaching selves when we come to a coaching session free from judgement and attachments, with faith in our clients' abilities and open curiosity.

But first, we need confidence. Trust in ourselves and our abilities. Confidence and trust in our presence, processes and curiosity supports the valuable flow and co-creation of any session. Time spent second guessing ourselves takes away from our client's experience.

As part of continuous learning and continuous improvement as coaches, it's important to reflect and assess our practices, look for areas to grow, and learn new skills. In this we're no different than our clients. But this growth means change, and change can raise doubts and challenges around our skills and path.

So, what do we do, as coaches, when faced with our own questions of confidence in our coaching practice?

Here are 3 Ways to Boost Your Coaching Confidence and Reconnect to You:

1. Values Check

Break out your favourite values exercise and coach yourself through it!

  • Get back to your why. Why do you coach?
  • Remind yourself the benefits it brings to you and to others.
  • Identify how you feel during and after a successful coaching session and how this shapes you, as a whole person.

When we work in alignment with our values, we know why we're working. And that connection is a huge confidence boost to our focus and purpose, and helps us remain open to our clients' focus and purpose.

Editor's Tip/Example: This is a great tool that can also be used 'in the moment'! One time I was particularly nervous running a workshop, criticising myself and stumbling over my words - making the situation worse. I began to feel my cheeks flame with shame. Then something clicked. I thought, "Why am I here?" And yes, I was there to get clients and build my network/brand as a coach. But I was also there because I wanted to SHARE. I wanted to help others learn more about themselves. I wanted my workshop attendees to leave with a glow, hope, some actions to make their life better and more satisfying. As soon as I connected to my "Why?" - what I wanted for others, I shifted my focus from the quality of my "performance" to the benefits they would receive. I felt the shift. Suddenly I was calm and grounded and could feel my feet on the floor - and reclaimed the confidence I needed to continue - and enjoy myself!

2. Success Check

While we may receive external validation of our skills, it doesn't always ring true internally. It's important that we, as well as our clients, experience success.

Discover what success means for you, as a coach:

  • What is successful coaching for you? What are your success criteria?
  • Do your success measures align with SMART goals?
  • Are you expecting too much? too little?
  • How do your clients' experiences and successes align with these expectations?
  • Do you notice any hidden judgements inside your definition of success?
  • Are your expectations working for or against you?

As with our values, reconnecting to what success means for us helps us reconnect to our purpose for coaching.

3. Reality Check

When we're learning something new, or have an experience that isn't our usual or ideal scenario, sometimes we (negatively) question ourselves and our skills.

This can be an amazing opportunity for growth and improvement. Try asking:

  • How are you already great? Set aside judgement and reflect on your practice, your process and external feedback received. Make a list of all the things you are great at as a coach.
  • How can you improve? Ask for input from trusted colleagues, teachers, mentors and clients. What can you take from this information to improve the experience you provide as a coach?
  • How much of a factor is the client? How much is your client showing up? Are you taking too much responsibility? What is outside your role as a coach?

Wrap-up: Keep Growing!

When it comes to coaching, it's a never ending journey for us and our clients. We can always improve, and with that comes potential shifts in our level of confidence.

Reconnecting in these 3 areas - your internal values, definitions of success and having a reality check offer an opportunity to shift and open up the space we need to become even better coaches. Or it could reaffirm how we work, allowing us to coach with ease and clearer expectations for ourselves and our clients. In either case, these 3 ways to thoughtfully reflect supports more centered confidence in our work.

Check in with yourself: just like our clients, you already know everything you need to step forward with confidence.

Contributing author: Jenn Danielson brings science and spreadsheets together with incense and energy to help people create balanced growth. With a background in science, standards and project management along with solution-focused coaching, Reiki and mindful practice, she supports people creating engaged growth, within the bigger picture of their lives. Connect the dots and walk the balance of career, health, life, family & fun. Visit Jenn's website here and follow her on FacebookTwitter or Instagram.

Connect the dots in your life even more, and join the Connect Your Dots group on Facebook for discussion, videos, meditations and community.

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Image of Coach looking flattered by Robin Higgins via Pixabay

2 Comments

  1. Sarah Farley

    Thanks for this article as it really resonates with me and the self doubts that pop along every now and then. One way I've managed them is to trust my client. When I think I could've done better I ask myself if my client has got something from our session, which they always do because they're invested in themselves and they've done the work, therefore it's not really for me to judge whether I was "good enough". And then I acknowledge where I could've done better eg, listened deeper, championed my client more, blurted my intuition etc, always learning and passionate to be a better coach in order to serve my clients better.

    Reply
    • Emma-Louise

      Dear Sarah,
      I think you've hit the nail on the head! So glad you found Jen's article helpful 🙂 Warmly, Emma-Louise

      Reply

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