From Confidence to Creativity: 7 Surprising Benefits of Self-Kindness by Emma-Louise Elsey

How would you like to feel better both mentally and physically, be more confident, more productive, more creative—and maybe even feel happier? Well, being kind to yourself may just be the answer!

But before we get into the awesome and surprising benefits of self-kindness, let's talk about your clients for a moment. How many of your clients are upset or frustrated with the state of their workplace, communities or the world?

These days our clients are increasingly stressed and overwhelmed. People are tired of the divisiveness, intolerance, insults and bullying—especially online.

And we're unkind to ourselves as well. Many people overlook their own needs, cramming their lives full of work and social activities, and are in a constant state of rushing, stress and overwhelm.

No wonder kindness is a hot topic

With our world the way it is, it's no surprise that the concept of kindness is gaining popularity in business as well as personal contexts.

Kindness is a welcome counterbalance to the competitive online and business world. And it resonates with millennials and Gen Zs who want work-life balance, take their mental health seriously and expect their leaders and employers to have a more caring approach.

People want—and are ready for—a kinder world. And as coaches already know, all change starts with ourselves.

Learning self-kindness can be challenging

Modern culture is all about doing, achieving and getting things done. And our societies (especially the capitalist corporate world) still see kindness as weak, 'soft' or childish.

Which means that many of our clients overlook their own needs, brushing aside uncomfortable feelings and pushing through fatigue and illness in order to meet deadlines, achieve goals, secure promotions—or avoid disappointing others.

And that means that being kind to ourselves can feel really uncomfortable.

Being kind to yourself spotlights deep societal and personal expectations...

Self-kindness is a powerful topic that brings up limiting beliefs for people around self-worth, gender norms, workplace and cultural expectations and self-judgement to name just a few.

Even just thinking or talking about being kind to ourselves brings up powerful expectations and limiting beliefs.

Self-kindness takes courage—and coaches can help!

In our modern world, it takes courage to stop, face your limiting beliefs and fears, listen to what you need—and then take action to be kind to yourself.

So as people begin their self-kindness journey, they'll need your coaching and support to weed out their limiting beliefs and explore what might be getting in the way.

From there, one really good place to deepen the conversation around self-kindness is helping our clients understand—and personally connect to—all the benefits of self-kindness for them.

Here are 7 Powerful Benefits of Self-Kindness

Being kind to ourselves is much more than a 'touchy-feely' idea. In fact there are countless reasons to be kind to yourself—many of them supported by scientific research. Here are some key advantages of self-kindness:

1) Better Mental Health

First, treating ourselves with self-kindness reduces our stress—and also increases our resilience. Plus, when stressful situations do occur, self-kindness gives us a more positive outlook, so we bounce back faster with fewer self-recriminations.

Self-kindness also helps us regulate our emotions, reduces mood swings, and can help reduce both anxiety and feelings of depression.

3) More Confidence

Self-kindness is literally an act of valuing yourself.

When we’re unkind to ourselves we get into a habit of fault-finding. Whereas being kind leads us to be more accepting and forgiving of our flaws and mistakes—boosting our self-esteem.

In addition, being kind to ourselves leads to less self-judgement and perfectionism. That’s because self-kindness counteracts our negative self-talk and helps us accept ourselves as we are (not as we think we should be). Which means that the drive to perfect and judge ourselves is reduced.

5) We're Nicer to Others

Change really does start with ourselves…

 When we're kind to ourselves, we have more energy to regulate our own emotions.

So self-kindness gives us the mental space to empathise and be kinder to others: we're more understanding—and less tense or stressed. All of which makes us a better colleague, partner, parent and friend.

Take a moment now to imagine how much kinder our world would be if we were all kind to ourselves.

7) Overall We're Just Plain Happier

Self-kindness helps us feel better about ourselves and our life. It boosts our relationships, goals and work which leads to a more positive outlook on life. Plus, we're also in a stronger place to set boundaries and meet our own needs.

So, that's a quick run through 7 key benefits of being kind to yourself. Which resonated with you?

Wrap-up

Most of us live in unkind, and arguably, toxic cultures. Our world is becoming increasingly VUCA: Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous. People are tired, stressed and overwhelmed, and there's a general lack of care of ourselves, each other and our world.

So kindness is something we all need right now. And the easiest and best place to start making change is with ourselves. Remember Gandhi's quote: "Be the change that you wish to see in the world."

Coaches can make a big difference in our world by helping clients face their limiting beliefs and overcome their fears so they can enjoy all the benefits of being kind to themselves.

And remember: as we each take better care of—and are kinder to ourselves—not only do we experience all those personal benefits, but we also become a more patient and understanding partner, friend, colleague and parent. Thus we create a ripple effect, helping create that kinder world we all wish for.

You may also like:

• The Infographic: 12 Courageous Ways to be Kind to Yourself
• Guided Loving-Kindness Metta Meditation Video to Help Your Clients Be More Self-Compassionate by Sura Kim
• 4 Self-Love & Compassion Practices for You and Your Clients by Lynda Monk

Contributing Author:

Emma-Louise Elsey is passionate about kindness, coaching and personal development and has been coaching since 2003. She's the Founder and Former CEO of The Coaching Tools Company, and Founder of Fierce Kindness. Originally a project and relationship manager for Fortune 500 companies she loves to create coaching tools and exercises, including lots of free coaching tools for you here at The Coaching Tools Company. Through Fierce Kindness she helps people create a life they love, make a difference and learn to be kind to themselves.

She'd love you to sign-up for the Fierce Kindness Newsletter and grab a free How to Be Kind to Yourself Workbook. Or connect personally on Linkedin, Facebook or Instagram.

Learn more about Emma-Louise & see all their articles here >>