How to Deal With Your Mindset Monkeys in 3 Simple Steps! | By Ruby McGuire

Do you have mindset monkeys that are creating fear and holding you back in your business? You know those nagging voices that can feel crippling and hold you back from being brave, or worse, from taking any action at all?

I like to talk about mindset monkeys having different hats. Here are some examples of what they might say:

  • "What if they say 'no' or don't like me?"
  • "Who am I to … ?"
  • "They'll find out I'm a fraud." (This is one I've personally suffered with!)

Do you recognize yourself in any of these? If so, you're not alone! I did a post in my Facebook group asking what kind of things their Mindset Monkeys said to them, and here's what came up:

  • "People will call you out."
  • "I'll ask stupid questions, which I should know the answer to already."
  • "I will offend people with my bluntness."
  • "I can't do this, I don't know enough. I'm not good enough."
  • "People will think my workshop is not good value for money."
  • "I'm not good enough to help people."
  • "There's nothing new under the sun! I'm just regurgitating received wisdom."

Your little monkey is thinking, "If I scare them enough, we'll stay safe!"

Our lovely little Mindset Monkeys are just trying to keep us safe. Because if you don't share what you do with the world, nothing terrible can happen to you, right? The problem is, your Mindset Monkeys may be holding you back in your business, and they may also be holding your clients back. For example:

  • Maybe you (or your clients) are procrastinating / making excuses / playing small
  • Perhaps you're telling yourself nobody is interested in what you put out there
  • Are you delaying things, telling yourself you'll do X when Y happens?
  • Or maybe you're letting others lead and then kicking yourself for not being brave enough to take action

Naughty mindset monkeys! But what can we do about them?

Here are 3 Simple Steps to Calm your Mindset Monkeys:

You can do these steps on their own, but they are even more powerful if done in sequence! Let's break them down one by one:

1. Challenge the limiting belief

Explore and challenge the limiting belief by writing down your answers to the questions below:

  • What is the limiting belief? How does it impact you?
  • Why do you believe it? Write down whatever comes up.
  • When did you decide that this was true for you? At some point you'll have made a decision to believe this is true for you.
  • Where did this limiting belief come from? Gather some evidence.
  • Did anyone give you this limiting belief? If so, who, and how do you feel about them now?
  • List as many things as possible offering alternative evidence that contradicts your limiting belief.

2. Change your limiting belief (or negative statement) from the present to the past tense

Now it's time to override your brain!

  • Think of a new positive belief you can use instead of the limiting belief.
  • Write down and/or say aloud: "In the past I used to be/believe [ your limiting belief ], now I'm [ new positive belief ]"
  • For example, "In the past I used to be terrible at writing blog posts, now I'm learning how to write a clear message."

This is a super powerful way to retrain your brain.

3. Now, imagine your future you feeling really confident!

Finally, it's time to cement that new positive belief - by imagining you being really confident.

  • How would your future confident you behave? In a moment you'll imagine acting like that, as if you already have all of those traits. Here are some things to consider:
    • What would your confident you do differently?
    • How would you go about your day?
    • What would you see, hear and feel?
  • Now step into that person now and try it out. Using all 5 senses, take a few moments to really experience in your body what that feels like.

Find it hard to imagine this future you?

  • Step into the persona of someone you admire instead. Then try stepping into your future confident you when you feel ready.

Wrap-up

Your mindset monkeys don't need to control the show, although they'll try if you let them!

Remember they're just trying to keep you safe, but safe doesn't build your business, bravery does! So, when your mindset monkeys act up, are you going to let them rule you, or are you going to take control of them?

Here's a quick reminder of how you can run the show instead:

  1. Challenge the limiting belief
  2. Change the limiting belief (or negative statement) from the present to the past tense
  3. Imagine your future you feeling really confident!

Just for fun, in the comments below, I'd love to hear what your Mindset Monkeys say or are afraid of eg. Fear of ...

Ruby McGuireContributing Author: Ruby McGuire, Visibility Diva, aka Queen of Connection, is a mum, wife, cappuccino lover and introvert. She helps unseen solopreneurs step up and shine on/offline so they can make money doing what they love. She's an Accredited Senior Coach, Author of Ruby's Visibility Tips, a Trainer, NLP Practitioner & Coach, an EFT Practitioner, writes for International Coaching News & various online articles. Get more Ruby with her podcast show on iTunes: Rock Your Fabulous Biz. You can also find Ruby at her pretty online home or here on Facebook. Failing that she may be satisfying her obsession of pinning on Pinterest! Finally, check out her Visibility Quiz, where you can find out just how visible you really are!

If you want to create discovery calls - as if by magic - to attract dreamie clients into your business, Ruby has a Special Offer on her Discovery Call Magic Programme. Find out more here >>

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2 Comments

  1. Olivia

    The Monkey lives within us, but it does not control us if we are aware of its presence. And through reading this post, I have already taken the step towards changing your wild monkey into a graceful deer.

    Reply

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