Especially when our clients have BIG goals in mind, it’s important to help set them up for success by exploring if they really want their goal – and how committed they are. Also, sometimes with big goals, it’s easy to lose our enthusiasm somewhere along the way.
So, whether you have a client just starting out or whether they’ve just lost their way a little, here are 5 quick tests to explore how serious your client REALLY is about their goals! THE SIMPLE COMMITMENT TEST: A great place to start is to be totally obvious and ask, “So, how Read More…
Whether you’re a coach, counselor, therapist or social worker, affirmative writing is a great exercise to offer your clients who are making changes and attempting to bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be. And it’s also a great journaling exercise for your own self-care and visioning.
Affirmative writing is where we write to bridge the gap between our current reality and our desired outcome, whether it’s events, goals, feelings, situations or something else. We write as if these things are already so – including our feeling state. Tip: Feelings are the magnet when it Read More…
I’ll start by saying that this process is easier to DO than describe but don’t let that put you off! My clients have had really powerful results – and great Aha! moments with this coaching exercise.
Let’s start with the MOST IMPORTANT part!
DON’T ask which value is most important. INSTEAD ask which value they could not be WITHOUT!
This FORCES a true preference rather than getting people caught up in ‘shoulds’. So, just imagining it’s possible for a moment, if you could:
1) ONLY have FUN/HAPPINESS for the rest of your life but NO HONESTY/INTEGRITY or Read More…
Have a client who can’t make up their mind? Well, whether it’s too much information, choice or analysis these fun ideas provide tips to help (you or!) your client make a decision – and move forwards.
7 Fun Ways to Make Decisions Simpler:
FORTUNE-TELLING: Get your clients to imagine a fortune cookie (use all 5 senses if you like!) Now get them to imagine that the answer they need is on the slip inside. Ask them to crack it open – and then take a look. What does it say? (If it’s blank – ask them to imagine waving a Read More…
Over the years I have asked the same question to wrap-up a coaching session.
The answers vary significantly from client to client and from week to week – and I learned long ago not to try and second-guess their response. For example, sometimes I thought there had been a powerful realisation or Aha moment and they wouldn’t mention it at all. And then sometimes I would feel that the session hadn’t gone that well and they would say something huge like, “I realised it’s OK to be who I am!”
The question? Simply, “What was your biggest win of Read More…
I don’t know about you, but ‘Black or White’ or ‘All or Nothing’ thinking is one of the commonest issues I see with my coaching clients. When a client is stuck – it’s often because they are looking at the world through this Black or White thinking filter – called a Cognitive Distortion (check this article out for more info. on what Cognitive Distortions are and a free tool to help you identify them!)
So, the big problem with Black or White thinking is that it forces a ‘Grey’ world full of possibilities, options and ideas into just two choices Read More…
Does your client keep distorting the facts? Do they focus on the negative or ignore the positive? Are they determined to blame others or themselves or keep jumping to conclusions? They may be using a Cognitive Distortion!
To first learn more about what a Cognitive Distortion is, check out our article here.
People come to coaching to learn about themselves, to set goals and create a more meaningful life. When your client uses a Cognitive Distortion, it’s a great opportunity to raise your client’s awareness, reduce unnecessary mental suffering and open up possibilities for them.
And when coaching clients Read More…
Announcing our latest free tool – a List of The Top 10 Cognitive Distortions!
What is a Cognitive Distortion? It’s where we focus on particular aspects of an experience (often ‘negative’ ones) and ignore or discount others – thereby distorting our view of the world. This tool highlights the 10 most common distortions that people use, complete with descriptions and examples of how they are used!
Use as a reference in a session or give a copy to your clients to take home!
Want to learn more about what a Cognitive Distortion is? Check out our sister article here.
Read More…
Using the word “try” implies a risk of failure. When a client says “I’ll try”, what they’re really saying is they’re not fully committed to the action in question.
So, the word “try”, like “should”, is one of those words that’s a clear signal to coaches to ask more questions and dig deeper.
Maybe your client really will try. Or maybe they’re too busy, they don’t want to upset someone by saying “no” or perhaps they don’t really care or value the outcome enough. Whatever the reason, as a coach “I’ll try” is a cue to explore where they’re Read More…
This is a fun exercise to do with a client who can’t make a decision.
What you need: Your client and a clear goal or issue that the client wants to make a decision around.
Start by explaining you’re going to do a fast-paced exercise and explain the process (without sharing ‘the big idea’). Then:
Ask the Client to express their issue/goal in EXACTLY 7 words Then (you) ask a question related to that issue/goal – also in EXACTLY 7 words The Client must answer in EXACTLY 6 words Then (you) ask a question in EXACTLY 6 words The Client Read More…
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