Not Knowing Is a Skill. Here’s How to Develop It. | by Dr. Sarah Evans MCC

We are experiencing unprecedented, complex, and disorienting uncertainty and change. And as a coach working with executive leaders, I have found that holding space for uncertainty is a critical skill for both coaches and leaders.

Holding space for uncertainty: A critical skill

Perhaps the most critical skill that we can learn in our complex, rapidly evolving world is the capacity to hold space for uncertainty without being overwhelmed by it. If we can resist the urge to control or prematurely resolve ambiguity, we can effectively learn from uncertainty rather than merely survive it.

A neuroscience insight to uncertainty

From a neuroscience perspective, we are literally wired to seek predictability, control, and clarity. Uncertainty triggers our ancient survival circuitry, the limbic system, which immediately interprets a threat. The amygdala, the brain’s threat detector, kicks in when the world feels unstable. It activates and sends us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (appease) responses.

This, in turn, can suppress the prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like planning, decision making, and emotional regulation.

The good news is that we can rewire this response.

When we meet uncertainty with mindfulness and curiosity, we engage different neural pathways. We can shift from the fear-based reactivity of our limbic system to a state of open inquiry. This activates the brain's SEEKING system - a core emotional system identified by affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp. The SEEKING system drives exploration, learning, and the pursuit of meaning.

One pathway to activating the SEEKING system is through embracing negative capability.

Negative Capability

In a letter to his brothers in 1817, the poet John Keats coined the term negative capability - the ability to embrace uncertainty, mysteries, and doubts without “irritably reaching after fact or reason.” The term signifies a negative because it relies on the absence of the need to force understanding or control, rather than an active, logical effort.

Negative capability is about being comfortable with, and not needing to resolve, contradictory or uncertain situations. It is this capacity that supports existing in a state of not knowing, allowing for deeper exploration of not only art and literature, but also the human experience. It fosters creativity and possibility thinking.

Michael Hudson notes that in a world of increasing uncertainty, negative capability manifests as the ability to:

• Resist premature closure when confronting complex problems;
• Hold multiple, often contradictory perspectives simultaneously;
• Distinguish between productive discomfort and unproductive distress;
• Leverage ambiguity as a catalyst for deeper understanding.

Those who can embrace uncertainty without being paralyzed by it, demonstrate the potential for greater adaptability, resilience, creativity, and innovation during periods of significant change.

It is possible to transform our relationship with uncertainty.

Five practices to develop the capacity for negative capability

1) Practice mindful presence

Develop the capacity to witness and sit with your inner experience with kindness.
Over time, with practice, you can expand your window of tolerance, becoming more resilient, more adaptable, and paradoxically, more at ease in the face of not knowing.
When you're in the grip of uncertainty, try this simple practice offered by Nan Wise , inspired by both neuroscience and Buddhist mindfulness:

1. Pause. Notice your impulse to act, fix, or flee.
2. Breathe. Slow, deep breaths help regulate your nervous system.
3. Name it. Acknowledge what you're feeling: fear, confusion, anger, grief.
4. Stay. Can you be with this feeling, just for a few breaths, without judgment?

Soften. Bring a sense of kindness to yourself. This is hard, and you're doing your best.

These micro-moments of awareness and compassion begin to literally rewire the brain. They support building an internal emotional flexibility - the ability to remain steady and grounded even when the external world is not.

2) Listen for signals

Learn the capacity to distinguish signals – the substantive unknowns that are too important to ignore from a strategic purpose perspective - from the vast noise of a multitude of trivial ambiguities. These trivial ambiguities can be distractors causing anxiety and taking up time, energy and resources. By distinguishing signals, you can focus energy on core uncertainties while acknowledging the others. This is about being purposefully selective.

3) Create reflective space

Create regular protected structured reflective space to think more deeply about the issues, challenges, opportunities, and options. The goal of this thinking time is not immediate resolution but rather getting curious for exploration and understanding. Taking thinking time might seem counter-intuitive, yet it is this strategic patience that can lead to more effective responses.

4) Adopt the language of negative capability

How you talk about uncertainty significantly influences how you and others looking to you respond.

The language of negative capability acknowledges and accepts ambiguity without panic or paralysis. It moves beyond known and unknown and becomes more nuanced. For example, “Here’s what we know with a high degree of confidence, what we know with a medium degree of confidence, and here’s what remains unclear or unknown.” This supports the psychological safety to acknowledge and accept the unknown, while maintaining momentum where there is clarity.

5) Embrace polarity thinking

This mindset shift supports a move away from problem solving (‘either/or’) to ‘both/and’ thinking, leveraging the energy of both poles and avoiding the downsides of favouring one side.

Negative capability requires the ability to hold seemingly opposing states simultaneously. For example, being confident without certainty, or taking direction without premature closure.

The practice involves explicitly naming the tensions rather than attempting to resolve them. A discussion might begin with “What are the polarities we’re managing…?” followed by a curious exploration of the interdependent opposites as well as possibilities. This again supports acknowledging the complexity while maintaining forward momentum.

Wrap-Up

By engaging with these five practices, we can transform our relationship with uncertainty. We can reduce anxiety and premature closure to effectively navigate the unknowns and be open to emerging possibilities - leveraging mindfulness, curiosity, and strategic patience.

What practice(s) might you implement as your first step?

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like:

• 3 Insights from Neuroscience to Enhance Your Coaching Relationships by Dr. Sarah Evans MCC
• Coaching: The Client-Centered Partnership by Fran Fisher, MCC
• Mastering Executive and Leadership Coaching: Practical Insights for Coaches

Contributing Author:

Dr. Sarah Evans, PhD, MCC, Dip. CS is passionate about working with visionary decision-makers and influencers inspired by the transformative potential of coaching. She is an executive leadership & team coach, facilitator, OD consultant, coaching supervisor, and mentor coach at Evans Leadership Group. Sarah is dedicated to cultivating resilient leaders—supporting individuals, teams, organizations and coaches lead and thrive in complexity. Her goal is to maximize human capacity, organizational capabilities, and contributions to societal well-being. Her key working themes are relationships, resilience, results! Visit her website here and connect with her on Linkedin. Sarah is a member of the International Coach Federation, where she holds a Master Certified Coach (MCC) credential.

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