The “Wheel of Life” may be ‘old hat’ to many of us, but it’s endlessly flexible. Did you know that the categories we use on the Life Balance Wheel can be used to help make decisions on everything from life partners to new careers? And that a Blank Wheel can be used to help evaluate decisions?
So, with Romance in the Air, Here are Three (3) Ways You Can Use The Wheel of Life in the Relationships Arena:
1. Understanding which Qualities in Another Person Most Positively Impact our Lives
Do you have a client, friend (or yourself!) looking for a life-partner? First, list approximately 10 qualities this life partner must have. Next you’re going to score each of those qualities using the Wheel of Life Categories: Simply ask your client to give each quality a score of 1 for each Category on the Life Balance Wheel that is enhanced by that quality. Then total up the scores and discuss!
Example: Imagine a client has “Tall” or “Curvy” on their ideal life partner quality list. Using each of the Wheel of Life categories, does the fact that their life partner is tall or curvy enhance that? Would it enhance their Finances, their Career, their Personal Growth? “Tall” or “Curvy” might get a score of 1 – enhancing the “romance” part of their relationship. Now what about the quality, “A good sense of humour”? That might score 5 and a half, improving fun, romance, friends and family, your home environment (a half-point for making home a more pleasant place to be), your health and maybe even your career if you have a lot of social events to go to! What do you think “A good listener” would score?
Follow-on Questions: After this exercise is complete, ask what do they notice? Did anything surprise them? As they look at the list of qualities they chose, what is missing from their list? What did they learn from doing this exercise? How might they change the way they evaluate people they meet in future?
In Summary: What we learn from doing this exercise is which qualities in a life-partner MOST improve our lives – and which are perhaps more superficial. It can be a great exercise for someone who gets carried away looking for the “perfect” partner – helping your client focus on more meaningful life-enhancing qualities.
2. Evaluating Current & Potential Relationships
Using a Blank Coaching Wheel (free), ask your client to list out the 8-10 most important qualities they think a life-partner, friend or lover should have. Then, while thinking about the person they want to evaluate, ask them to score out of 10 how they think that person rates against each of the qualities listed.
Follow-on Questions: After this exercise is complete ask, what do they notice? Are the scores higher or lower than expected? Are they surprised? If their HEAD was to make a decision about their relationship with this person, what would they do next? What about if their HEART was to make a decision? What qualities and factors are missing from the Relationship Wheel categories? What did they learn from doing this exercise? What action steps might they take next?
In Summary: Whilst decisions of the heart shouldn’t be made solely with the ‘head’ or analytical left-brain, sometimes a little left-brained analysis can help us see what we’re missing – whether it’s that someone deserves a first (or second!) chance, or that we need to move on…
3. Find Out How Energising and Draining The Top 8 People In Your Life Really Are!
NOTE: You’ll need 2 different colour pens for this exercise!
Ask your client to label a Blank Coaching Wheel with the 8 people they spend most of their time with. Then ask them to score everyone on their wheel first for 1) How energising each person is out of 10 (where 0 is not at all energising and 10 is highly energising). Then, using a different colour pen, ask your client to score everyone on their wheel for 2) How draining each person is out of 10 ((where 0 is not at all draining and 10 is highly draining). The question is, HOW energised or drained they feel after spending time with each person.
Follow-on Questions: What do they notice? What surprises are there? Is anyone both a drainer and an energiser? What does that feel like for them? You could also look at what % of their time they currently spend with each person. For the energising people you could ask how they could spend MORE time with them? And for the drainers you could ask how they could spend less time – or change the way they spend time with them.
I hope you liked these 3 different ways to use the Wheel of Life Template to evaluate, consider and help make decisions about our relationships. Remember that these exercises can be used with our romantic relationships, but can also be used with our friends, family and co-workers!
If you liked this article about the Wheel of Life and Relationships, you may also like:
- Our Detox Your Toxic Relationships Coaching Exercise! And our article 5 Simple Steps to Help Your Clients Identify Toxic Relationships – and Spot the Good Ones! (The Detox Your Toxic Relationships Exercise explained!)
- Coaching Tools 101 – 12 Awesome New Ways To Use The Wheel of Life in Your Coaching Practice
- Coaching Tools 101: The 9 Coaching Exercises and Templates I Would Not Be Without
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