Have Your Clients Got Psychic Skills or Are They Just Making Assumptions?

When a client comes to me feeling bad about themselves because they were rejected I like to startle them with a question, “Well, are you psychic?” Because unless they’re psychic they won’t know the REAL reason they were rejected.

We all like to think we can mind-read; they think I’m unattractive, annoying, a loser, they don’t like me because I’m too THIS or I’m not enough THAT. But one thing is common – these are all ASSUMPTIONS. And when it comes to rejection, we usually make assumptions that make us feel worse.

Of course there are ALL sorts of reasons we get rejected or turned down. Maybe we were rejected because someone was tired and wanted to stay home. Or they’re stressed and can’t give us the benefit of the doubt today. Maybe they’re jaded and find your enthusiasm a painful reminder of how they used to be. Maybe they feel threatened by us and prefer the company of someone less challenging for them. Maybe they DON’T find us attractive. Maybe they’re incapable of reading between the lines and/or giving us the job based on our capacity to learn rather than our experience. But whatever it is, it’s all about the OTHER person, what they think and feel. The rejection is never about us.

Remember that time you didn’t hear back from someone, and you thought they didn’t like you or that you’d upset them? Then remember how it turned out they were away, had some family crisis, lost your number or never got your email because their computer crashed?

So, when you notice your clients making negative assumptions (also known as mind-reading) when it comes to WHY they were rejected, ask them, “How do you KNOW that to be true? What PROOF do you have? (and ask this kindly) Are you Psychic?”

Then if they INSIST on making assumptions, why not suggest they find a REFRAME and make their assumptions POSITIVE. After all, if you’re going to make assumptions, why NOT make them to our advantage? How about I got rejected because:
- I am too gorgeous, I am too much fun, I’m over-qualified, I am clearly too helpful for that organization!

IN SUMMARY: As a coach, it’s our job to spot when our client is making assumptions and draw this to their attention. Then, if they insist on making assumptions, why not help them have some fun with it and assume the best?

“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.” Shirley MacLaine

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